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PIMP – adopted

Melbourne, Victoria
French Bulldog • 4.5 years old • Male

With a name like Pimp, you might guess that in my past life before rescue I was a “hard-working” boi, pun entirely intended.  I’m happily retired now, and while I’ve been a good boi, doin’ my time in long-term foster care, I’m ready to hang my hat in a permanent home and fulfil my true doggy-companion duties.

My current soft-pillow people loved me instantly, but I can’t stay here long because they’ve had to make room for me temporarily.  They’ve been jokingly calling me Columbo (the glass-eyed detective … I think because of the grumpy wrinkles), but it didn’t take them long to realise that’s just my face, and I’m actually the (almost) perfect dog. I sleep in the bed, even under the blankets, and I settle for the whole night. I get up with lady-human who seems to have the smaller bladder, and take myself outside, but if she wasn’t quite ready to get up permanently, we all settle back down quickly.

The last couple of days in an entirely new environment have been largely pleasant and uneventful.  The humans seem impressed that I haven’t messed in the house, and I just chillax in the many beds around the house, provided I can see the humans.

We tried a meet-and-greet at another house with mixed results … there was a boy cat who I didn’t get along with at all (they said Pomeranian, but I know a cat when I see one, and he was a bit of a jerk), but there was this large lassy who I got along quite well with for a long while (seriously hours, there’s video evidence so you don’t have to take my word for it).  We ate in the same room, wandered inside and outside together, lay near each other on the floor while the humans visited, and even travelled in the back seat together with no issue.  The only problem was when the humans brought her home, to MY house, and then she kept running around as if I wasn’t here first.  I’d be cool about it, but she was so much energy, and just refused to let me settle in my spots. Lady-human was impressed though that I wasn’t the instigator – so she thinks that I might be OK with a larger mature lady who is confidently submissive, non-challenging, just chill like me – and takes a hint when I’m just not in the mood.

If there was a doggy tinder, my profile might look like this:

  • 4, nearly 5 years old – so I’m not cray-cray like the teenagers
  • I’m a planet and need a moon to orbit me – work from home, retired, not overly energetic as I pretty much just want to hang at home, you get the picture
  • I will love you, unconditionally, unless I find a gap in the fence, or a weakness in the fence I can manipulate, then all bets are off.  I won’t mean to be unfaithful, I just don’t always understand the consequences of my actions
  • I’m a good boi in the bath – I’ve learned that it involves lots of touching, so I can endure the smelly stuff if you insist.
  • Ideally, I’m your entire focus – we can waddle around the house together, snack on toast together – if you throw something, I’ll go get it with a bit of enthusiasm, but I’m not ball obsessed like the kids.
  • If you’re heading out – I do pick up on subtle signs like keys and shoes, so I’ll be waiting at the front door.  I’m not bananas about it, just stoically determined and you might need to have a distraction plan to get JUST you out the door.  If I make it out, I’m off – sorry, it’s just way too much temptation, and I’m fast when I want to be. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants.
  • My chill does have a limit – generally it takes a fair bit to push me (like a crazy teenage staffy who doesn’t take no for an answer), but I’m deceptively athletic when I want to be, even jumping higher than my stumps would indicate. So while you might get the impression from all my photos that I nap 24/7, or that I’m super chill, the only way to guarantee this is if I’m the only non-human in the house.

OK – let’s hand over the microphone to the humans for a bit.

Pimp truly just wants to be your best friend – he’s super affectionate, non-demanding (unless you consider a gargoyle stare as demanding … yeah, I guess it is). He loves to be with us, just waddling around doing his thing, at times taking himself outside to sleep on the porch.  We have seen how determined he can be with fencing though, if he thinks you’re not around. He doesn’t want much from us – with the yard, he doesn’t look for walks, but I can see he’d love a walk. You’d need to be focused, and ready for anything because if another dog reacts to him, he will react back, but so far I haven’t seen him instigate the trouble – he just can’t help talk back to smack talk. If you can see it coming and get him out the way, I think he’d be fine. Not a dog park boy though – too much room for unknowns. Saying that breaks my heart, because he’s amazing, and the perfect dog for someone who is looking for a dude, bro, best bud. Loves car rides too.


BEFORE you fill-out Pimp’s adoption criteria, it is extremely important that potential adopters give great thought and communicate in their adoption application as to what their home set up and routine plan is for the first few weeks/months if they are the successful adopter of this perfect-ish boi.  Pimp needs some adjustment time, and will do best if you can be around full-time for a while so you can settle together – no pick-up on the weekend and then left on a Monday home alone while you return to work… There needs to be a plan outlined to set Pimp up for success in his new home, and that you understand the importance of secure fencing and preparation for certain situations that might be a little triggering.


Deal breakers:

– Pimp’s new family must be committed to ongoing training to ensure he grows to be the best doggo he can be – highly food motivated, so we suspect there’s an even more perfect boi hiding under his rolls

– No cats, no male dogs, no pocket pets. No exceptions! Pimp’s ideal home is where he is an ONLY master to the human slaves.

– Ideally, Pimp’s new family would have at least one member able to be home with him on a full-time basis – whether newly retired, or able to work from home, to keep him focused on the family and not the big-wide-world

– Daily walks and outings would be great, but nothing too exerting, and a quiet, predictable route would be best – nothing off leash, no marathons

– Pimp would eat anything if left to his own devices, and while his skin is in great condition, he is prone to the usual sensitive skin conditions of the breed. Once he’s regular on whatever diet you settle on, the farting will stop, but then who would you use as your own scapegoat 😃

– Pimp must be truly part of the family and that means access inside as he pleases.  He’s the quintessential companion, and likes his own spots, but he likes your spots just as much.

– The lucky adoptive family of Pimp will need to be ready to keep in regular contact with his foster mama at Life of Pikelet throughout the duration of his life – no one leaves the village, we just grow the village ❤


Non deal breakers:

– While we would prefer Pimp be an only pupper in da haus, a robust, calm but submissive female dog as a companion will be considered

A home in Victoria is preferred however interstate applicants will be considered, potential forever families in other states would need be ok with Pimp being an only dog, that is the only way we could let him adopt interstate.



– Pimp is a desexed, very handsome lilac French Bulldog. As with any frenchie… snoring, farting and tear stains are somewhat common. Pimp has chronic ear problems that need daily treatment to keep them in good health, he gets the itchies if you stray from a balanced raw or prescription kibble diet. Other than that Pimp is one healthy boyo.


Please click here for an adoption application.

**We do our best to review and reply to all applications within 14 days, please be patient.

Pimp’s adoption fee is $1200 and includes:

– Microchipping

– Desexing

– Up to date vaccinations, flea, tick & worming treatments

MICROCHIP NUMBER 953010002033298


**Located in foster care in Melbourne Victoria, Pimp  is available for interstate adoption however this comes with the firm understanding that if an interstate candidate is successful, Pimp’s new family will need to come to HQ to complete adoption paperwork and travel home with him. Interstate candidates please see above in deal breakers/non-deal breakers. Video footage of yard & home will also need to be provided along with the agreement to a possible home check by a local Life of Pikelet rescue volunteer.